Today begins a new monthly feature at California NOW - our guest blogger series. We kick things off with Christie Walker-Bos, an author, a mom and an activist who discusses our role in perpetuating poor role models in the media.
Do you love to hate the Kardashians and the mindless drivel that seems to occupy their every waking moment?
But why are they so popular? Who’s watching their insipid show and buying the magazines with their images on the cover? It’s not men. It’s women…lots and lots of women.
Are these women the role models we want for our daughters? God, I hope not. I’m a writer of romance novels where I have total control over my heroines, and none of them are as silly as the real people society seems to glamorize these days.
My father told me as I was growing up that there was nothing I couldn’t do if I put my mind to it, and I chose to believe him.
I fought for and landed a job as a press photographer back when women were far and few between in that field.
I quit that same job to be a-stay-at-home mom at a time when women who stayed at home were considered somehow less because they didn’t have a “real job.” (Don’t get me started about that!)
Now I’ve chosen to supplement my income as an editor by writing romance novels and must endure the jibes and taunts of ignorant people who’ve never read a romance in their life. There are scores of people who work hard to denigrate a career path embraced mostly by women that provides entertainment for other women. I find their contempt funny, considering the $1.358 billion in sales in 2010 for the romance genre, which (in terms of revenue of market categories) beat out mysteries, fiction/fantasy and religious/inspiration titles. Not bad for something so many think of as frivolous.
My first novel, "Magical Man List", was a fictional version of how I found my soul mate, now my husband. In Man List, the two female characters are tired of dating losers and decide to make a list of what they want in the perfect man. Back when I was 15, I bought a book called, How to Get a Teenage Boy. It was about how to change yourself so boys would like you—find out their hobbies, show interest in what they were interested in, don’t talk too much, dress a certain way, act a certain way—it went on and on. Of course this does make boys/men think you’re swell, but it doesn’t get you what YOU want. I wondered…where was the book called "How to Get a Teenage Girl" and what would it say?
When it came time to find the right man for me, it had to start with what I wanted not how I could mold myself into something someone else wanted. And so I wrote a list of the traits I wanted in the perfect man for me and then I went out and found that guy. When I fictionalized my experience into my first romantic comedy, I had two very strong women on a mission to get what they wanted. My women always get their man!
My three romantic comedies are centered on a strong heroine. She may be struggling with an issue or need help with a problem, but even though someone might help her, ultimately my heroines blossom and grow, and end up helping themselves. I do write romance, which means in the end the hero and heroine end up together, but that is what makes a romance a romance. If Nicholas Sparks had happy endings, he’d be considered romance writer too.
So now I’ve decided to delve into erotica for women and you should hear the naysayers—you’re writing porn, denigrating women, your novels are smut—it goes on and on. Have they read my novel? Of course not, it’s just easier to slam something you know nothing about. My first erotica novel, "Stealing Hearts", is still centered on a strong heroine who knows what she wants and how to get it. The story is still a romance, and so it’s the journey of two people who end up together, they just have more and better sex lives than most of us. Who wouldn’t want that? I write about real sexuality, where the woman is as much in charge as the man, and sometimes even more so, and what could be more liberating than that!
So back to my original point…if we really want our daughters to believe they can be anything they want to be, why don’t we start demonstrating to them that we don’t consider the Kardashians as OUR role models?
Let’s follow Hillary Clinton on Twitter rather than Kim Kardashian. I guarantee that Hillary is every bit as fascinating and entertaining as Kim.
And when we need to escape into a fantasy world, let’s get lost in books and movies where the characters are strong, interesting women like the characters I write about – and who exist all around us – rather than the one dimensional world of the Kardashians. What a novel idea (pun intended).
To learn more about Christie Walker-Bos, visit her website christiewalkerbos.com.
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